Positive Paranoia

June 1, 2011

As a professional speaker I was in the airport the other day getting ready to fly to Las Vegas. (I’m there more than Cher.) I was relaxing at the President’s Club, eating cheap cheese and old fruit with all my elite-status, high-mileage brethren. The gentleman who sat down beside me wore a baseball cap that read “NYC Police.” He proceeded to tell me he was an undercover cop, so I had to ask, “Then you only wear this hat on your days off?”

I think a great number of people have no idea how they appear to others. You could fill a large psychiatry office with all the books that have been written about how we perceive ourselves. But few books have any real impact in the area of how we are viewed by others. Taking a look at how others see us is not an easy thing to do. However, if we want to have enough personal influence to make all the communication skills and brilliant ideas we have succeed, willingness needs to raise its ugly head. For example, if you sit down to put on your rollerblades and your spouse calls out “Honey, please be careful,” it means you do not skate well! If people look at your artwork and say things like “Wow, you sure used a lot of paint!” or “This would look awesome in the garage,” it means you don’t have any talent.

Getting honest about who you really are to others is crucial to success. It’s a practice common among top businesspeople. In our 10-year survey of 5,000 top professionals, Wynn Solutions found that the most successful – the top 1% – had a realistic view of how others perceived them. This dose of realism serves them well because they can influence others only as far as those others will allow. So if the great self-portrait I’ve painted in my mind far exceeds the exhibit I’ve put on display to the public, I’ll struggle to convince anyone of my genius.

Believing in yourself is great, but you need others also to believe in you if you hope to motivate or lead people in the direction you want. It’s good to have confidence, and certainly self-esteem is important … but if I believed I was OK regardless of society’s opinions, I would be at the grocery store in my underwear.

We sometimes make the mistake of thinking that something’s true if we just believe strongly enough. I believe the speed limit on toll roads should be 100 mph. That’s slower than the no-speed-limit autobahn, so it seems fair to me. But the cop who pulled me over last week believed I should go to jail. So what I believe is often not only irrelevant; it’s illegal!

Is it possible that some things you believe about yourself may not be true? Can you ask a very close, give-it-to-you-straight friend how you come across to others? This may sound to some like an invitation to developing a slight case of paranoia. But spending your life obliviously unaware of what is preventing you from being seen as valuable is much worse. Being worried about not being OK makes you human and relevant. Showing up to the big board meeting in an ’80s dress with shoulder pads could make you (literally) history – especially if you are a man!

Hire  Guest Speaker Garrison Wynn


Business Book from Houston-based Keynote Speaker Garrison Wynn Makes Amazon Best-Seller List

May 3, 2011

The Real Truth About Success, a McGraw-Hill title by business relationship expert and keynote speaker Garrison Wynn, recently reached No. 15 on Amazon’s list of Kindle best sellers. In hardcover, The Real Truth About Success steadily ranks among Amazon’s best sellers in the workplace behavior category.

The Real Truth About Success: What the Top 1% Do Differently, Why They Won’t Tell You, and How You Can Do It Anyway! debunks common myths about success, replacing them with new insight into what makes some of the world’s top businesspeople so successful. As a motivational speaker and corporate trainer, author Garrison Wynn has gained unique access to industry leaders and top producers. After 10 years of surveying 5,000 top performers from 23 industries, Wynn compiled research and anecdotes to reveal the truth about success, including some surprising challenges to conventional thinking:

  • The best product or service doesn’t always win. People choose what makes them comfortable, whether it’s the best or not.
  • Genius is not the foundation of success. The smartest person in the room has little influence if no one understands him.
  • Many standout businesspeople cite hard work as the reason for their tremendous success, but lots of people work just as hard for little payoff. Hard work isn’t the whole story.
  • Top performers do not often divulge the real basis of their success because the truth might not sound sexy enough.

Published by McGraw-Hill in late 2009, The Real Truth About Success’s current climb shows the book has growing appeal in a challenging economy. “Readers seem intrigued to learn that the most successful people earned their place not by being the smartest, the hardest working, or the best at what they do but by knowing what advantages they have and using them fully,” Wynn says. “This book reveals that there’s not some elusive, rare quality that brings success; it’s something that any person can replicate if he or she is willing to find an advantage and use it to create an unfair fight – not a dirty fight, but a fight where the odds are stacked in one’s favor.”

Readers often approach Wynn at his speaking engagements or training sessions to comment on the unconventional ideas advanced in the book. “They usually mention how true (and occasionally disturbing) they found the conclusions from my research to be: Being smart or having great ideas is just not enough to succeed,” says Wynn. “But most often, people remark that the ideas in the book made them look at themselves in new ways and showed them how life not being fair can actually become an advantage.”

Although both book formats sell well, The Real Truth About Success in Kindle format has established a solid hold in the Top 20. Social media expert Brian Carter attributes this success on Kindle to the fact that the book’s content and humor reflect the way that tech-savvy, socially networked professionals like to receive information. “Garrison Wynn’s Real Truth is laugh-out-loud funny all the way through. It serves up valuable information laced with irreverent humor, keeping the pace fast and the points memorable. Content like this on Kindle appeals to the growing social media set because it feeds them an insider’s look at success in the portable, on-the-go format they prefer. It fits the lifestyle and feeds the desire to do more and achieve more with what they’ve got,” Carter says.

From the research compiled for The Real Truth About Success, Wynn has developed keynote speeches and professional training designed to help individuals and organizations identify their strengths and put their advantages to full use. Keynotes and training are delivered through Wynn Solutions, a Houston-based firm founded by Wynn in 1996 to help individuals and organizations boost their influence and improve their leadership, management and communication skills.

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AboutGarrison Wynn

As a motivational speaker, advisor, author and entertainer, Garrison Wynn has worked with some of the world’s most effective corporate leaders, educators and business developers, from multibillion-dollar manufacturers and national associations to top New York Stock Exchange wire houses. He has a background in manufacturing, entertainment, telecommunications and financial services. By age 27 he became the youngest department head in a Fortune 500 company’s history. He researched and designed processes for 38 company locations nationwide and developed and marketed products still being sold in 30 countries. An experienced actor in films and a former professional stand-up comedian, Garrison has hosted national television and radio programs. He is the author of the book The REAL Truth About Success, contributes weekly columns to The Washington Post and has coauthored with Stephen Covey. His books, articles and award-winning success tools have received accolades, but his greatest strength is a magnetic live performance that keeps him in high demand, with more than 600 inquiries and 100 speaking dates per year.

About Wynn Solutions
Wynn Solutions helps individuals and organizations make the jump from being really good at what they do to being consistently chosen to do it. Through customized services, including keynote speakers, corporate training programs and employee assessments, Wynn Solutions provides its clients with the tools they need to create and sustain successful business relationships. FounderGarrison Wynn and his staff of experienced presenters offer keynote presentations, training, coaching and consulting in sales, marketing, leadership, management, communications and presentation skills. Wynn’s experience as a professional stand-up comedian and Fortune 500 dynamo ensures that every Wynn Solutions program and training session is impactful, entertaining, grounded in research and backed by action that generates results.

Media Inquires:
Liana Eakins
Wynn Solutions
Houston, Texas
p: (888) 833-2902
e: liana@wynnsolutions.com


Why Would Anybody Want to Be in a Fair Fight? Creating your own advantage

April 11, 2011

Create your own advantage!

If you have trouble discovering an innate advantage—or if what you find doesn’t seem advantageous enough—you create an advantage. The top 1 percent we surveyed and studied did not always have size, beauty, or remarkable demeanors (some were downright obnoxious and a bit hard on the eye), but they all had advantages they used to help them be successful. These advantages were often not innate but things a lot of people might have. The top performers just identified the potential advantages and, if they did not have what they needed to create them, went out and got it.

Creating an advantage is not easy, especially if you have no talent, but it is always possible. Just think about people you’ve worked with over the years: unimpressive, untalented, and eventually in charge.  As you read this, look around you. What does success look like? What do those successful people have that you don’t (other than success, obviously)? Chances are they have more than innate advantages. Try to discover some learnable behaviors or positioning strategies that you could duplicate. Is there an education level that can’t be maneuvered around? Is there training or certification needed?

As you look around, remember that it’s important to know the business culture you’re operating in. You must see business for what it really is: a place where fairness falters, where even the seemingly undeserving win. The terms “fair fight” and “level playing field” have little business in the business world. The bottom line in the real business world is that fairness rarely raises its ugly head. A fair fight means you are unprepared. Heck, I could lose a fair fight. I personally like my fights lopsided in my favor and my opponents minimally skilled and easily defeated.

Let’s be really honest: You want a fair fight only if you believe that equality is more important than personal success or if you are bored with how easily you’ve been winning your fights. When I first started to hear the advantages of the most successful, it did not seem right that they were successful regardless of talent, skill, or education. But I realized that the people who are willing to overcome everything in their path (like a giant lack of talent) because of their desire for their goal were as deserving as anyone else.

Viewing business this way requires a willingness to step away from traditional norms of fairness—to understand that “unfair” fighting does not mean unscrupulous or dishonorable. It means thinking critically about some business practice, personality trait, or personal strategy and then methodically employing it to your advantage so you stand out from others and win. Creating a phony Facebook account for a person who is competing with you for a promotion that clearly states his dedication to Hitler is definitely unscrupulous. However, making sure you discuss your love of the History Channel in the interview with your Nazi-crazed future boss is not. You knew what he valued and got excited about his favorite subject. And you used your thought-to-be-useless knowledge of World War II to get the promotion.

Read more from motivational guest speaker Garrison Wynn’s best selling book: “The Real Truth about Success: What the top 1% do differently”


Tsunamis, Unrest in the Middle East and Economic Recovery: The Value of Worry

April 8, 2011

With a current world picture that includes tsunamis, unrest in the Middle East and a struggling economic recovery, it might be tempting to say that the Mayans were right and we’re approaching the end in 2012. Maybe the Mayans were just good at math, which we all know can be helpful but won’t necessarily get you a date. (We tend to remember Olympic champions but rarely sing the praises of a mathlete.) Just because an ancient civilization did not outlive its own calendar doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world for us.

Stress and WorryWe like to think that these unstable conditions around the world are new and shocking events never before seen. But the truth is that the Japanese invented the word tsunami, which means clearly this is not their first rodeo. (I’ve actually seen a Japanese rodeo, and it definitely appeared to be their first.)
Likewise, rebelling against governments is absolutely nothing new; it’s the foundation of the United States. Those of us who think our economy is really bad have never ridden the chicken bus in Mexico. (You know, that bus you’re on when you realize all the native riders are holding farm animals … and somehow you get the idea their economy is a little different from yours.)

The reason a series of unfavorable current events can intrigue us so much is simply this: We like bad news. As a culture, Americans tend to fan the flames of panic. From the post-earthquake and -tsunami videos, you might conclude that the Japanese don’t seem to be panicking. Don’t be fooled; they’re panicking – their panic just looks different from ours. Their panic does not give the appearance that Godzilla has come to town. That image of panic is one that the Japanese created for us, an American film audience that enjoys that stuff. We feed off it.

But sometimes we also let it bog us down. No matter how bad things get, circumstances do not create the quality of our life. We do. How we think and feel about what goes on and the belief systems that we hold create what we think of the future.

Worry is not the symptom of a problematic life. It is, in fact, the problem. Worry that does not create an action pretty quickly is useless. As you may have heard before, action creates opportunity. Fear creates action that we probably should have thought through a little better first.

We are concerned about a younger generation that doesn’t seem to have a sense of urgency; they don’t seem to be worried about the things we think should cause them worry. But maybe these young people are proof of the latest evolution of the human condition. Maybe we’re evolving to the point we’ve finally realized that chronic dread is just not helpful enough. It’s like a 50-year-old person dealing with a technology problem. He’ll see it as an all-day problem, whereas the 25-year-old is just looking for one of many solutions that he actually knows exist. It’s easy to say that this new generation may lack the efficiency of the previous generation; after all, we worked hard to make sure they didn’t have to work as hard as we did. But the truth is, as usual, we all have a lot to learn from each other.

Concern (which is nothing more than worry conveyed with a more effective expression on your face) is important because it drives us to make plans and prepare ourselves for the future. For example, seeing a glass as half empty can help a lot of us to consistently keep our glass full. But critical thinking is not the same as a fatalistic outlook.

My ultimate point is to stop worrying so much about things we can’t do anything about and to take specific action on the things we can actually influence. To that end, here are six things we can do to be more effective about how we think.

  1. Quit talking so much about how bad everything is, because ultimately you’re using your charismatic influence to lower the performance of the people around you.
  2. Watch television news a little less and the History Channel a little more. (Don’t take this to mean that you should stay up until 4 a.m. watching Hitler documentaries.)
  3. Focus on making the people around you feel valuable, because people who feel valued make fewer mistakes, are more loyal to you and have a better outlook on life. It’s why corporations and associations spend money on motivational speakers.
  4. Adopt modern business practices. Communication has changed, and social media is having a dramatic effect on everything from brand awareness to customer service to generating big revenue. Social media is simply word of mouth on steroids; it’s the natural progression of technology-aided communication. First came tribal drums, then smoke signals, then the telegraph (although I think there may have been a few things in between smoke signals and the telegraph), then the telephone, then the computer/Internet, and now social media.
  5. Remember that, when dealing with younger people, you need to let them know that “now” means now. With their
    With their lack of a sense of urgency, they sometimes don’t understand that “now” means “Stop what you’re doing and focus on this other thing pronto!”
  6. Use all the effort that you put into worrying about the future into creating your own future.

The value of worry is that, in small, well-applied doses, it motivates us. The problem is we are not a culture known for our love of moderation!
Whatever hitches and hiccups we might experience right now, we are probably not the first ones to face them, nor are we the first ones to solve them. Frankly, it doesn’t take genius to succeed. Throughout history, we humans have achieved through persistence and resilience. In fact, our research shows that when a high percentage of top performers were asked about how their brilliance created success, they simply said that (1) they were not as smart as they were relentless, and (2) a more intelligent person would have quit long before they did.

Motivational Speaker – Author – Consultant –  Garrison Wynn


Personal Influence: Can you disagree with your boss’s ideas and still be successful at work?

June 28, 2010

Be influential or quit!

We like to think we can disagree with the people in charge and have things go our way with great consistency. After all, in the movies it’s the struggling person with no influence who has the great idea that everyone opposes and who, through sheer grit and determination (and often involving Jeff Bridges or Kevin Costner), rises to the top to make the higher-ups look like idiots. In life, though, it’s more typical that people who openly disagree with the boss end up first in line on the chopping block – especially if they are right and have the support of other people managed by that same boss. I have also seen people promoted to a position that gets them away from other humans. I personally was exiled to Omaha years ago for increasing sales by doing the exact opposite of what my boss said I should. Not that the people in Omaha were not humans … it’s just that I went from a big-city office where things were moving and shaking to a location where people wore Christmas sweaters. I have noticed over the years that when the people who are driving change wear a lot of holiday clothing, your chances of global impact are minimal.

In 10 years of research on leadership and change management, I have observed that VP teams commonly get rid of talented employees who openly disagree and have the positioning and charisma to influence others. It actually makes sense for that to happen. Dragging people screaming and kicking in a direction they don’t want to go has a history of being expensive and diluting the company’s vision. Though teamwork can be overrated, without it you can’t make things happen or develop agreed-upon, repeatable processes. Organizations and individuals don’t choose the best ideas; they choose the ones they are most comfortable with.

It is possible, however, to use personal influence tactics that can get you traction for your ideas. For example, it’s important understand that people are much more likely to agree with those who have agreed with them first. Agreement is the foundation of accountability. If you look for areas where you agree with the boss and you state your agreement (“I agree with that; let me tell you how I can help you”) before making a recommendation, you are much more likely to have your input heard and used. It’s a kind of formula that I call Ask, Listen, Agree, Recommend. This works well because people rarely object to their own ideas! They think, “My idea sounds fantastic coming from you! We should definitely do that.” Unfortunately, only a small percentage of people use this tactic. It’s just too simple, and people who feel oppressed by their boss really need to be right and make the boss wrong. So they grumble and do nothing, or they accidentally blurt out something that seals the fate of their work life – something like “I know you’re intelligent; I just can’t tell that by talking to you.”

I was dragged into an opportunity that I was not thrilled with, and it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It was the last corporate job I had before starting my own company in 1996. They were so screwed up that I was exposed to almost every problem an organization could have, including a bizarre concept of “next-day air” shipping. They said next-day air meant we would receive the order Monday, pull the product from inventory Tuesday, and ship it Wednesday so the customer gets it Thursday. I explained that today (Monday) is today and tomorrow (Tuesday) is the next day, hence the term “next-day” air! They said I was wrong and needed to tell my employees and customers that next-day air took three days. I told them I was quitting, not today but the next day, which, if you look on your calendar, is tomorrow! I’m sure they are better off without me and my crazy logical disruptions. That psychotic BS inspired me to help other organizations as a motivational speaker with leadership, communication, and influence. But in reality I started my own company for the same reasons most entrepreneurs do but will rarely verbalize: I got tired of making other people rich!


Almost Famous: Success and careers after college

June 23, 2010

In honor of recent graduates: When you finished your schooling, did you know what you wanted to do in life? How long did it take to find a job or profession that “fit” you? Are you still in your original field?

I had the idea that after college I would move back home, my mom and dad would move out, and I’d get the house! I’m being brutally honest; at 21 years old, I had potential but I was much more into partying. In my opinion at the time, I had learned two very valuable things in college: Never run out of beer and only date girls who have their own cars!

What I wanted in life at that point was to be judged according to my wit, knowledge, and education, but I learned that I was really judged by my actions. (I was also judged by an actual judge, but we won’t go into that.)

After college, I started working for AT&T during the divestiture. I learned a lot about office politics but little about what I wanted to do with my life. I came from successful people and I was expected to be affluent, not just earn a living. So, naturally, I wanted to be in show business or become an artist. My education was in psychology, history, and marketing, so it seemed I was only qualified to think deeply about convincing people to spend money in the past!

When we look back through our career tracks, most of us talk about the “path” we were on; but if we really take time to think about it, it seems more like an unblazed trail than a path. Personally, what I traveled was more like that worn area you see in someone’s yard from people cutting through the lawn because they did not have the patience to walk around it.

When I became a corporate department head at a Fortune 500 company at age 27, I was clearly promoted beyond my abilities. People used to mistake me for my own assistant (which does have its benefits when you want to avoid people you have never met). I was forced to learn to be influential, considering that every conversation my management peers had with me started with the word “Son”!

Along my “unblazed” trail, I became a professional stand-up comedian, touring the country and appearing at places like the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and the Funny Firm in Chicago. I appeared with people who are now household names, and one of my ex-girlfriends went on to be a famous movie star. I did some TV and radio and had speaking parts in a few films (which went directly to video). People often ask me how this segment of my career came about. All I can say is I went to an open mic night, and within a year I was earning a living on the road. I did this hot and heavy for six or seven years before realizing that, for me, making people laugh was not enough. I’ve got nothing against stand-up – I just wanted to make more of a contribution. Plus, living in a different city each week and sharing the comedy condo with depressed guys who used to be famous and their tattooed girlfriends with big snakes around their necks … let’s just say it gets old after a while.

Ultimately, I put my business background, education, and show business experience together to create the life I have now. In 1996 I started a research-based training company that specializes in personal influence in areas of leadership, sales, marketing, change management, and safety. Through this company I now speak at conventions 100 times a year. (It’s still a lot of travel but not as many tattoos and snakes … depending on the convention.)

My advice to graduates is to do very little of what you don’t do well and a lot of what you do very well. It’s practical, proven advice that might also sound profound if you are under 25 years old and still hung over from college.


Successful Team Building: Disagreement is the key to good judgment

June 8, 2010

It Takes All Kinds—What Kind Are You?

It’s a big mistake to wish that people were all born equal or to try to turn people into equals. I’m not talking about equal rights; I’m pointing out what a mistake it is to pretend that we are all the same. I often speak to managers who want to increase their department’s productivity. Many of them will say, “I’d like a perfect, well-rounded team that gets along well.” Why?! If you’ve got a bunch of people with the same disposition, the same thought processes, the same information, that’s not a team; that’s one person cloned several times over.

Here’s a better team:

  • The vision person: “I see it. I see everything. I see the future.”
  • The butt kisser: “I see whatever you see, and it looks fantastic.”
  • The negative thinker: “I see it, and I see every problem we’ll have along the way.”
  • The lazy one: “I see it, and here’s the easiest way to do it.”

This well-rounded team knows where it’s going, supports one another, anticipates and plans for the obstacles, and does so in a time-saving, resource-conserving manner. Team members might not love one another every day—and having butt-kissing guy and negative person carpooling could get weird—but it will work far better than a team of people who have the same thought processes and hold the same beliefs.

The true strength of a team is based on the fact that people play different positions. The strongest organizations have strong people with different talents coming together to tackle problems and create solutions. Disagreement is more than just a platform for a bad day; it is often the foundation of consensus. Disagreement comes from the people who see things differently. As insanely obvious as that sounds, it is the key to good judgment.

The idea that we all have to be a certain way or equally gifted or equipped is ridiculous. Certain jobs or roles require a dominant set of skills or attitudes balanced by almost a complete absence of another set. My lack of skill as an accountant allows me to ask questions I wouldn’t if I knew more. I am ignorant enough to know I need the counsel of those who specialize in accounting and confident enough to seek it out and then question anything I don’t understand. In the end, my organization’s finances are better.

Why Most People don’t get Results from Social Media

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Garrison’s New Book Has Been Translated into Chinese

For our Chinese clients and e-news subscribers we are pleased to announce that “The Real Truth about Success..” is now available in Chinese short and long forms. McGraw-Hill is the publisher in Chinese as well and the book can be found in bookstores throughout Asia.


Marriage Success: Happily Neverafter?

June 8, 2010

Washingon Post “On Success” Column  Question: To the shock of even their closest friends, Al and Tipper Gore have announced their separation, after 40 years of marriage. And this is the couple that openly showed affection and wrote the book “Joined at the Heart.” Can a marriage that comes apart still be considered successful? And if Al and Tipper can’t make it, is there hope for the rest of us?

What can you put up with?

Can a marriage that comes apart still be considered successful? I guess it can if you got the results you were seeking – as in, spending a huge part of your life with someone who will no longer live with you, producing 2.5 kids (that half a child is the slow one who didn’t go to college), and losing half your stuff at retirement age. If that is an acceptable situation, then yes, congratulations, you have been successfully married.

I guess if you learned a lesson that is valuable enough, any experience is successful regardless of how it ends. But if the only lesson you learn is that it was the other person’s fault entirely, most likely you cannot call the experience a success. In college and through my mid 20s, I learned that any woman who was really attracted to me was clearly not marriage material!

Those early, self-deprecating insights of mine have given way to data that exists on the topic of marriage, which apparently varies a bit based on whether you are male or female. Most research on how people feel about marriage (which, by the way, no one wants to know) reflects that married men are happier than unmarried men and, paradoxically, that unmarried women are happier than married women. The data has skewed this way since researchers started asking people these questions anonymously fifty years ago. A lot of people – women in particular – feel trapped in unhappy marriages; in such situations, divorce might be an option you explore based on family finances, or on your response to pressure from society/your family/your religion to work it out, or both.

In the Gores’ case, they can’t divorce if they are trying to bring people together for an election or a cause. Can you name one politician who initiated a breakup in the middle of a campaign they thought they were going to win? Most successful men get divorces when they can afford it or if it can’t hurt them politically. However, some of the lawyers I have talked to advise their wealthy clients to get separated rather than divorced because the financial fallout of divorce can dramatically reduce the lifestyle of both spouses. So it really is “cheaper to keep her,” and staying married to a rich person you no longer love seems to be preferred by most women to a divorce that leaves you with no country club membership and considerably fewer pairs of shoes. I’m not saying anyone should think that way; I’m just stating what researchers tell us. (Frankly, it sounds to me like being a marriage researcher is bad for your marriage!)

Let’s get real and personal: Al Gore became very successful and the political campaigns were pretty hard on Tipper, as you may recall. Also, life with someone in the spotlight does not have a great track record for producing happiness. Oddly, when people who have been married for over 20 years co-author a book about how in love they are with each other, a divorce seems to follow shortly afterward.

The reality of marriage is that you marry someone because of who you think they are; and when, after being together for a few years (or 40), you find out who they really are, you have to decide if you can live with that! People do change and grow, but rarely at the same pace or in the same direction. So the key is this: How much do you really like each other and what can you put up with long term? Can you accept the faults that may never improve? Love is wonderful, but the fact remains that you can love someone and still dream of killing them on a regular basis. I think you have to love them, really like them, and be able to enjoy their company with great consistency. If you can do that, then you can overcome the differences in thoughts and feelings that have always made understanding each other a challenge. Many years ago, I gave my wife a half-pound box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day and she said, “Do you know how much weight I will gain if I eat all this chocolate?” I said, “Yes, honey… about a half a pound!” She laughed and said, “That is exactly the kind of answer I would expect from you.” I said, “Well … then our marriage is a success.”


Everybody Knows Something you don’t: Lost and the Lesson of Flassie

June 4, 2010


I once had to evacuate Houston for a hurricane and then had to “reevacuate”—that’s what I call it when everyone rushes back into the place they left in such a hurry. I’m lost on the outskirts of town, so I pull into a gas station where I see this crusty old guy sitting outside. I’m judging him immediately, right? I’m thinking this guy’s so old that he looks like he’s not going to live through the conversation.

My gas station friend has fishing hooks in his hat, and he’s got that faraway look in his eye, like I’m not going to get very good information from the man. I try anyway.

“Excuse me, sir. I’m trying to get back into Houston. Can you help me?”

He says, “What road did you come in on?”

C’mon. You just watched me pull in, didn’t you?

I say, “Well, the road you’re on. There’s one road, and you’re on it. I came here on the road your gas station’s on.” This guy is not winning any Nobel Prize, I conclude.

He says, “Well, what you want to do is go down the road a piece.”

A piece? “A piece of what? What does that mean?” I ask.

“You know, some miles.”

“One mile? A million miles?” Work with me, gas station man!

“What you do is go down the road a piece. There’s going to be like a highway, and there’s going to be a hump on this highway; get to the top of that hump, look outcher window and you’ll see like a dirt road, a pond, and a trailer park.” He pauses. “Don’t go in there. Stay on that main road, and take a left where the old schoolhouse used to be.”

OK, gas station funnyman. We’re going to go over this one more time.

“You’re telling me to take a left at a landmark I’ve never heard of that no longer exists. Is that correct?” Then I snap and use the D word. “Are you just dumb?”

He says, “You know something, son, I ain’t the smartest man around these parts. But then again, boy, I ain’t lost neither.”

I learned a valuable lesson in that exchange: Everybody knows something you don’t. The minute you think you know it all, your wisdom vanishes. In that moment when you think you no longer need input from anyone, wisdom leaves you. Your aptitude, your experience, your talent, your skill, and your time on the job—that all stays. Just the wisdom vanishes.

This lesson was as applicable during my encounter with gas station man as it has been in my work as a speaker and consultant. When I’m in front of the CEO, the CEO has to know more about his organization than I do. The minute I think I know it all, I greatly reduce my power to be effective or influential. I’m pretty sure nothing good comes from telling a CEO that I know more than he does.

Interestingly, the lesson is well known among some of the top performers we interviewed, especially those in leadership positions. We noticed that they were not afraid to admit they didn’t know it all. As a result, they knew the value of collecting information from people around them. These leaders might or might not incorporate people’s ideas into their decisions, but the information they’ve gathered allows them to understand where everybody’s coming from. They can deliver their decisions in a way that signals a true understanding of what the people around them value. You can deliver decisions in many ways, but you can’t be influential unless you know what someone values. So realizing that everybody knows something you don’t and then being willing to gather (and maybe even use!) information can position you to succeed in a big way.

Do you remember the TV show Lassie? Remember little Timmy? On the show, little Timmy would always be in his house when Lassie would rush in and bark. Timmy would put his hand to his ear and say, “What? What, Lassie? There’s a horse with his foot caught in the railroad tracks?” Apparently, Timmy spoke fluent dog.

Remember the TV show Flipper? Flipper was pretty much just a liquid Lassie. Flipper the dolphin could sound off to his human friend who would say, “What? What, Flipper? There’s a horse in trouble at the lagoon?” You could put those two shows together and call it Flassie.

The point here isn’t that I wish I could translate animal talk. (In reality, Dr. Doolittle seemed pretty miserable.) But Lassie and Flipper didn’t have to speak a human language or understand the details of their situation to deliver the most important information, which was “Go now!” The message of these shows was “trouble’s a-brewin’, and this animal knows something we don’t.”

I think most people understand at a basic level that everyone knows something we don’t. We just forget that sometimes when it’s time to position ourselves to be successful. But people who never forget it, like the insurance salesman I interviewed, have a great chance to stand out above their peers, giving them a distinct advantage.


The Innate Secret Advantage: I could dunk too if I were seven-foot-two!

May 27, 2010

Speed, agility, great ball-handling skills, and natural instincts for game pacing and dictating a team’s offensive strategies are hallmarks of the NBA’s best point guards. Muggsy Bogues had those and more, which led to his selection as a first-round draft pick out of Wake Forest University and a successful 14-season NBA career with the Charlotte Hornets, Washington Bullets, Golden State Warriors, New York Knicks, and Toronto Raptors. Bogues was also—and remains—the shortest NBA player in history.

Short in stature and tall on talent, Bogues faced plenty of skeptics who doubted he could play pro ball in an arena where six-foot-three is considered short. And the skeptics seemed to have a point. If your name is Muggsy and you’re five-foot-three, you sound more like a cartoon character than a pro basketball player. But Muggsy’s lack of stature actually seemed to help him. Faster and more maneuverable than the hulks, lower to the ground than even the shortest guards he faced, Bogues used his height to his advantage. In other words, he went beyond talent to use what others saw as his apparent disadvantage (his size) and turn it into an innate advantage.

Bogues made an excellent guard, but a center he could never be. That job goes to guys like Yao Ming. Under a 10-foot rim, Ming’s standing reach of nine-foot-seven pretty much guarantees him the job, agile or not. I’m surprised a guy that tall can get out of his own way! Yet he has starred at center for the Houston Rockets since 2002 and is a huge celebrity in China. It seems that the Chinese are so industrious that they’ve even found a way to manufacture tall people.

In business, however, innate advantages are subtler than Ming’s or Bogues’s size and become evident throughout our lives and professional careers. One top performer used his innate advantage of an engaging smile and aura of sincerity underscored by a clean, honest look. As a result, people just naturally wanted to meet him, talk with him, even pay for his lunch. In time, he used the enormous trust people had in him to his advantage, not by being dishonest but by enhancing his ability to sell insurance based on his gift for being Mr. Likable.

In fact, much of our success is based on appearance and personality. They’re part of the reason image consulting is a multibillion-dollar industry. It often takes an image consultant to transform a person’s least desirable qualities because, let’s face it, we’re not all that honest with ourselves about what might need to be fixed. It’s like a really wealthy man with horrible teeth. How can he have such devastating dental denial? Does he know he scares kids at the pool?

When it comes to advantages, most of us know the good stuff we got dealt; we just don’t use it to get ahead. Yet it doesn’t take a consultant to play up any innate advantage you have in appearance, image, or personality. That job’s for you! Sometimes it’s just a matter of mapping that innate advantage to your goals. This chapter helps you understand the power of your innate advantage.

The Physical Advantage

The world is full of remarkable athletes, but every few years some insanely gifted overachiever commands the spotlight, first by breaking a world record, then smashing it the next time out, and then continuing to obliterate it over and over until we can’t help but wonder what freaky genetics are in play there.

Michael Phelps is that athlete. He dominated the 2008 Summer Olympics, winning gold medals in all eight of his events, including some incredible swim-from-behind, win-by-a-hair victories. And winning by a hair is tough in a sport where all competitors shave their body hair before each event!

The man’s a machine. He regularly trains six hours a day, six days a week, and he smokes pot! That’s impressive! But surely some of the athletes competing at his world-class level must be training and working just as hard. So what’s this guy’s advantage? What’s the deal?

The deal is that the man really is a machine ideally constructed to plow through water. Most people have a wingspan that matches their height, but the six-foot-four Phelps has a wingspan of six feet, seven inches. And yet his legs, proportionally, are the size of someone who’s just six feet tall. He has hands that have been compared to dinner plates, and he wears size 14 shoes. When you see him on television, you think maybe your TV picture is warped, but that’s what he really looks like!

So while an above-average heart and lung capacity power his long-lever arms and dinner-plate hands to create more propulsion than other people his size can muster, his large torso skims boatlike across the surface, followed by short legs that create minimal drag. And then his size 14s shove him forward some more. No doubt about it, Phelps is one maneuverable mutant!

But we’re not done. And I’m not talking about his fondness for pot.

Phelps is also double-jointed. Great flexibility in his shoulders, elbows, knees, and ankles gives him fluidity in his range of motion, creating less disruption to his stroke and greater power in his underwater body-flutter thingy. (I’m running short on anatomy adjectives.) In his book No Limits: The Will to Succeed, Phelps himself puts it this way: “The flexibility in my ankles means I can whip my feet through the water as if they were fins.” That’s as impressive as it is disturbing.

If Phelps keeps succeeding, he might even be as impressive as Lance Armstrong, who overcame testicular cancer that, by the time of diagnosis, had spread to his lungs and brain. Some intense chemo, some intense training, and the guy went on to win a few Tour de Frances . . . Tours de France? Whatever. He won seven of them. It’s a record, regardless of how you actually say it, and one that is likely never to be equaled.

How did he do it? Is he superhuman? A freak of genetics like Phelps? Partly. Armstrong’s heart is one-third more effective than the average man’s, and it’s thought to be almost a third larger (uncommon but not unprecedented among elite athletes). Some of this is likely the result of triathlon training from his teen years, but there is also some genetic component that allowed him to develop an almost superhuman heart muscle. You can’t get that with pull-ups. The Discovery Channel program The Science of Lance Armstrong (I have a hard time just going to the gym, and this guy has his own science?) reported that for unknown reasons Armstrong’s muscles produce less lactic acid than other people’s muscles and that his body eliminates lactic acid more efficiently, leading him to experience less “muscle burn” at the point of peak exertion. He has this great innate ability to push on when most of his competitors are left pushing through the pain.

I don’t mean to minimize the grueling training and pure determination of these two amazing athletes by highlighting their innate advantages. On the contrary! It’s important to realize that they willingly trained to improve whatever assets they could. Phelps might not be able to make his legs any shorter, his wingspan any wider, or his feet more Phlipperish, but his continuous training can stretch his endurance, perfect his stroke, and improve his entry and flip-turn techniques. This guy is just one Darwinian step away from a gig at Sea World.

Phelps and Armstrong might have abnormal heart and lung capacities (and, in Phelps’s case, abnormal lunch capacity—he puts down about 10,000 calories a day). But they’re not content to leave that head start unimproved or undeveloped. They train like crazy to expand what they were naturally given. They recognize and use their natural physiological endowments. That’s exactly what innate advantages are all about for any top performer. We have all heard the saying “It’s not what you’ve got but how you use it.” The real truth is that it’s a lot about what you’ve got, and if you don’t have a lot, you might struggle to compete at the highest level.


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