Personal Influence: Can you disagree with your boss’s ideas and still be successful at work?

June 28, 2010

Be influential or quit!

We like to think we can disagree with the people in charge and have things go our way with great consistency. After all, in the movies it’s the struggling person with no influence who has the great idea that everyone opposes and who, through sheer grit and determination (and often involving Jeff Bridges or Kevin Costner), rises to the top to make the higher-ups look like idiots. In life, though, it’s more typical that people who openly disagree with the boss end up first in line on the chopping block – especially if they are right and have the support of other people managed by that same boss. I have also seen people promoted to a position that gets them away from other humans. I personally was exiled to Omaha years ago for increasing sales by doing the exact opposite of what my boss said I should. Not that the people in Omaha were not humans … it’s just that I went from a big-city office where things were moving and shaking to a location where people wore Christmas sweaters. I have noticed over the years that when the people who are driving change wear a lot of holiday clothing, your chances of global impact are minimal.

In 10 years of research on leadership and change management, I have observed that VP teams commonly get rid of talented employees who openly disagree and have the positioning and charisma to influence others. It actually makes sense for that to happen. Dragging people screaming and kicking in a direction they don’t want to go has a history of being expensive and diluting the company’s vision. Though teamwork can be overrated, without it you can’t make things happen or develop agreed-upon, repeatable processes. Organizations and individuals don’t choose the best ideas; they choose the ones they are most comfortable with.

It is possible, however, to use personal influence tactics that can get you traction for your ideas. For example, it’s important understand that people are much more likely to agree with those who have agreed with them first. Agreement is the foundation of accountability. If you look for areas where you agree with the boss and you state your agreement (“I agree with that; let me tell you how I can help you”) before making a recommendation, you are much more likely to have your input heard and used. It’s a kind of formula that I call Ask, Listen, Agree, Recommend. This works well because people rarely object to their own ideas! They think, “My idea sounds fantastic coming from you! We should definitely do that.” Unfortunately, only a small percentage of people use this tactic. It’s just too simple, and people who feel oppressed by their boss really need to be right and make the boss wrong. So they grumble and do nothing, or they accidentally blurt out something that seals the fate of their work life – something like “I know you’re intelligent; I just can’t tell that by talking to you.”

I was dragged into an opportunity that I was not thrilled with, and it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It was the last corporate job I had before starting my own company in 1996. They were so screwed up that I was exposed to almost every problem an organization could have, including a bizarre concept of “next-day air” shipping. They said next-day air meant we would receive the order Monday, pull the product from inventory Tuesday, and ship it Wednesday so the customer gets it Thursday. I explained that today (Monday) is today and tomorrow (Tuesday) is the next day, hence the term “next-day” air! They said I was wrong and needed to tell my employees and customers that next-day air took three days. I told them I was quitting, not today but the next day, which, if you look on your calendar, is tomorrow! I’m sure they are better off without me and my crazy logical disruptions. That psychotic BS inspired me to help other organizations as a motivational speaker with leadership, communication, and influence. But in reality I started my own company for the same reasons most entrepreneurs do but will rarely verbalize: I got tired of making other people rich!

51 Comments | Communication, success, Success Qualities, Team Building, Washington Post - On Success | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Ginger Dailey Wynn

Almost Famous: Success and careers after college

June 23, 2010

In honor of recent graduates: When you finished your schooling, did you know what you wanted to do in life? How long did it take to find a job or profession that “fit” you? Are you still in your original field?

I had the idea that after college I would move back home, my mom and dad would move out, and I’d get the house! I’m being brutally honest; at 21 years old, I had potential but I was much more into partying. In my opinion at the time, I had learned two very valuable things in college: Never run out of beer and only date girls who have their own cars!

What I wanted in life at that point was to be judged according to my wit, knowledge, and education, but I learned that I was really judged by my actions. (I was also judged by an actual judge, but we won’t go into that.)

After college, I started working for AT&T during the divestiture. I learned a lot about office politics but little about what I wanted to do with my life. I came from successful people and I was expected to be affluent, not just earn a living. So, naturally, I wanted to be in show business or become an artist. My education was in psychology, history, and marketing, so it seemed I was only qualified to think deeply about convincing people to spend money in the past!

When we look back through our career tracks, most of us talk about the “path” we were on; but if we really take time to think about it, it seems more like an unblazed trail than a path. Personally, what I traveled was more like that worn area you see in someone’s yard from people cutting through the lawn because they did not have the patience to walk around it.

When I became a corporate department head at a Fortune 500 company at age 27, I was clearly promoted beyond my abilities. People used to mistake me for my own assistant (which does have its benefits when you want to avoid people you have never met). I was forced to learn to be influential, considering that every conversation my management peers had with me started with the word “Son”!

Along my “unblazed” trail, I became a professional stand-up comedian, touring the country and appearing at places like the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and the Funny Firm in Chicago. I appeared with people who are now household names, and one of my ex-girlfriends went on to be a famous movie star. I did some TV and radio and had speaking parts in a few films (which went directly to video). People often ask me how this segment of my career came about. All I can say is I went to an open mic night, and within a year I was earning a living on the road. I did this hot and heavy for six or seven years before realizing that, for me, making people laugh was not enough. I’ve got nothing against stand-up – I just wanted to make more of a contribution. Plus, living in a different city each week and sharing the comedy condo with depressed guys who used to be famous and their tattooed girlfriends with big snakes around their necks … let’s just say it gets old after a while.

Ultimately, I put my business background, education, and show business experience together to create the life I have now. In 1996 I started a research-based training company that specializes in personal influence in areas of leadership, sales, marketing, change management, and safety. Through this company I now speak at conventions 100 times a year. (It’s still a lot of travel but not as many tattoos and snakes … depending on the convention.)

My advice to graduates is to do very little of what you don’t do well and a lot of what you do very well. It’s practical, proven advice that might also sound profound if you are under 25 years old and still hung over from college.

29 Comments | Modern Society, success, Success Qualities, Washington Post - On Success | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Ginger Dailey Wynn

Successful Team Building: Disagreement is the key to good judgment

June 8, 2010

It Takes All Kinds—What Kind Are You?

It’s a big mistake to wish that people were all born equal or to try to turn people into equals. I’m not talking about equal rights; I’m pointing out what a mistake it is to pretend that we are all the same. I often speak to managers who want to increase their department’s productivity. Many of them will say, “I’d like a perfect, well-rounded team that gets along well.” Why?! If you’ve got a bunch of people with the same disposition, the same thought processes, the same information, that’s not a team; that’s one person cloned several times over.

Here’s a better team:

  • The vision person: “I see it. I see everything. I see the future.”
  • The butt kisser: “I see whatever you see, and it looks fantastic.”
  • The negative thinker: “I see it, and I see every problem we’ll have along the way.”
  • The lazy one: “I see it, and here’s the easiest way to do it.”

This well-rounded team knows where it’s going, supports one another, anticipates and plans for the obstacles, and does so in a time-saving, resource-conserving manner. Team members might not love one another every day—and having butt-kissing guy and negative person carpooling could get weird—but it will work far better than a team of people who have the same thought processes and hold the same beliefs.

The true strength of a team is based on the fact that people play different positions. The strongest organizations have strong people with different talents coming together to tackle problems and create solutions. Disagreement is more than just a platform for a bad day; it is often the foundation of consensus. Disagreement comes from the people who see things differently. As insanely obvious as that sounds, it is the key to good judgment.

The idea that we all have to be a certain way or equally gifted or equipped is ridiculous. Certain jobs or roles require a dominant set of skills or attitudes balanced by almost a complete absence of another set. My lack of skill as an accountant allows me to ask questions I wouldn’t if I knew more. I am ignorant enough to know I need the counsel of those who specialize in accounting and confident enough to seek it out and then question anything I don’t understand. In the end, my organization’s finances are better.

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19 Comments | management, success, Team Building | Permalink
Posted by Ginger Dailey Wynn

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