White Lies Clients Tell You When They Choose Your Competition

May 2, 2008

Have you ever thought that the reason the client gave you for choosing a competitor didn’t sound like the truth? Did it sound like a bald-faced lie? Or was it like the end of a bad date — “It’s not you; it’s me”?

Here are five white lies clients tell you, along with the underlying reality:

The white lie:
Your proposal was good but we need to spread the work around.
The truth: Your representative is brilliant, but we hate him. He is inflexible and makes the staff lose their desire to live.

The white lie: I thought you guys do the best work, but my staff recommended the competitor.
The truth: Two of my technical people said you screwed up the last project and ran over budget, and no one would listen to us.

The white lie: We are in a holding pattern right now and are trying to reorganize the project.
The truth: We don’t have any money — and if we did, we are not sure we would spend it with you.

The white lie: We have decided to review all the proposals again.
The truth: Your proposal was not very clear (neither was your project manager), and we are using your proposal as a last resort, as a worst-case scenario.

The white lie: You will get the next one.
The truth: Someone has a better relationship with us than you do and will have to screw up before you have a shot.

A white lie is polite way of saying “We don’t like doing business with you.” Having a good relationship, giving a clear presentation and making sure your clients feel heard and appreciated are three assets that the most successful have in common.

A lot of very talented people and organizations are overlooked because they think being the best is good enough to win. Unfortunately, people don’t choose what’s best; they choose what they are the most comfortable with, whether it is the best or not


The Key to Listening to Boring People

November 29, 2007

I know that listening is important but it can be very difficult when you don’t care about what the other person is talking about. We want to care; we have compassion for people and their problems (OK, some of us do practice pathological leadership) but something about what they are saying is losing us at about 5 seconds in. Sometimes it’s the topic: when my wife talks about Yoga I just stop caring. I saw her in front of the TV doing a headstand while wearing a neck brace. Could Yoga be the problem and not the solution? Sometimes we don’t have the time for a low priority issue right before that important conference call. But every now and then it’s the person who is talking. Some people are just boring! Its not their fault I guess; maybe the were raised by boring parents in a boring environment. Our research at Wynn Solutions shows that making sure people feel heard is the foundation of trust. But what I have noticed over the years and what we now teach our clients, is that if you focus on how someone feels (happy, mad, glad, sad or freaked out) while you are listening to them (not just what they say) you are able to hang in their with the people that would normally send you to snoozeville. Also, you retain much more information (regardless of your poor listening skills) and believe it or not, you start to care more about what they are saying. It’s amazing and I highly recommend you try it.

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