Everybody Knows Something you don’t: Lost and the Lesson of Flassie

June 4, 2010


I once had to evacuate Houston for a hurricane and then had to “reevacuate”—that’s what I call it when everyone rushes back into the place they left in such a hurry. I’m lost on the outskirts of town, so I pull into a gas station where I see this crusty old guy sitting outside. I’m judging him immediately, right? I’m thinking this guy’s so old that he looks like he’s not going to live through the conversation.

My gas station friend has fishing hooks in his hat, and he’s got that faraway look in his eye, like I’m not going to get very good information from the man. I try anyway.

“Excuse me, sir. I’m trying to get back into Houston. Can you help me?”

He says, “What road did you come in on?”

C’mon. You just watched me pull in, didn’t you?

I say, “Well, the road you’re on. There’s one road, and you’re on it. I came here on the road your gas station’s on.” This guy is not winning any Nobel Prize, I conclude.

He says, “Well, what you want to do is go down the road a piece.”

A piece? “A piece of what? What does that mean?” I ask.

“You know, some miles.”

“One mile? A million miles?” Work with me, gas station man!

“What you do is go down the road a piece. There’s going to be like a highway, and there’s going to be a hump on this highway; get to the top of that hump, look outcher window and you’ll see like a dirt road, a pond, and a trailer park.” He pauses. “Don’t go in there. Stay on that main road, and take a left where the old schoolhouse used to be.”

OK, gas station funnyman. We’re going to go over this one more time.

“You’re telling me to take a left at a landmark I’ve never heard of that no longer exists. Is that correct?” Then I snap and use the D word. “Are you just dumb?”

He says, “You know something, son, I ain’t the smartest man around these parts. But then again, boy, I ain’t lost neither.”

I learned a valuable lesson in that exchange: Everybody knows something you don’t. The minute you think you know it all, your wisdom vanishes. In that moment when you think you no longer need input from anyone, wisdom leaves you. Your aptitude, your experience, your talent, your skill, and your time on the job—that all stays. Just the wisdom vanishes.

This lesson was as applicable during my encounter with gas station man as it has been in my work as a speaker and consultant. When I’m in front of the CEO, the CEO has to know more about his organization than I do. The minute I think I know it all, I greatly reduce my power to be effective or influential. I’m pretty sure nothing good comes from telling a CEO that I know more than he does.

Interestingly, the lesson is well known among some of the top performers we interviewed, especially those in leadership positions. We noticed that they were not afraid to admit they didn’t know it all. As a result, they knew the value of collecting information from people around them. These leaders might or might not incorporate people’s ideas into their decisions, but the information they’ve gathered allows them to understand where everybody’s coming from. They can deliver their decisions in a way that signals a true understanding of what the people around them value. You can deliver decisions in many ways, but you can’t be influential unless you know what someone values. So realizing that everybody knows something you don’t and then being willing to gather (and maybe even use!) information can position you to succeed in a big way.

Do you remember the TV show Lassie? Remember little Timmy? On the show, little Timmy would always be in his house when Lassie would rush in and bark. Timmy would put his hand to his ear and say, “What? What, Lassie? There’s a horse with his foot caught in the railroad tracks?” Apparently, Timmy spoke fluent dog.

Remember the TV show Flipper? Flipper was pretty much just a liquid Lassie. Flipper the dolphin could sound off to his human friend who would say, “What? What, Flipper? There’s a horse in trouble at the lagoon?” You could put those two shows together and call it Flassie.

The point here isn’t that I wish I could translate animal talk. (In reality, Dr. Doolittle seemed pretty miserable.) But Lassie and Flipper didn’t have to speak a human language or understand the details of their situation to deliver the most important information, which was “Go now!” The message of these shows was “trouble’s a-brewin’, and this animal knows something we don’t.”

I think most people understand at a basic level that everyone knows something we don’t. We just forget that sometimes when it’s time to position ourselves to be successful. But people who never forget it, like the insurance salesman I interviewed, have a great chance to stand out above their peers, giving them a distinct advantage.


White Lies Clients Tell You When They Choose Your Competition

June 24, 2009

Have you ever thought that the reason the client gave you for choosing a competitor didn’t sound like the truth? Did it sound like a bald-faced lie? Or was it like the end of a bad date — “It’s not you; it’s me”?

Here are five white lies clients tell you, along with the underlying reality:

  1. The white lie: Your proposal was good but we need to spread the work around.
    The truth: Your representative is brilliant, but we hate him. He is inflexible and makes the staff lose their desire to live.
  2. The white lie: I thought you guys do the best work, but my staff recommended the competitor.
    The truth: Two of my technical people said you screwed up the last project and ran over budget, and no one would listen to us.
  3. The white lie: We are in a holding pattern right now and are trying to reorganize the project.
    The truth: We don’t have any money — and if we did, we are not sure we would spend it with you.
  4. The white lie: We have decided to review all the proposals again.
    The truth: Your proposal was not very clear (neither was your project manager), and we are using your proposal as a last resort, as a worst-case scenario.
  5. The white lie: You will get the next one.
    The truth: Someone has a better relationship with us than you do and will have to screw up before you have a shot.

A white lie is polite way of saying “We don’t like doing business with you.” Having a good relationship, giving a clear presentation and making sure your clients feel heard and appreciated are three assets that the most successful have in common.

A lot of very talented people and organizations are overlooked because they think being the best is good enough to win. Unfortunately, people don’t choose what’s best; they choose what they are the most comfortable with, whether it is the best or not.


The Real Truth about Success: Getting Great Results When Things Aren’t That Great

April 10, 2009

How do we get great results?

By taking a look at the truth about success!

My keynote  presentations and training programs  are based on my company’s research of top performers (5,000 top-performing people of influence in 21 industries) and shows what the most successful people have in common. Recently, I created a summery of the core ideas I presented in a keynote for a client looking to provide something extra for attendees to take home. These same idea are examined in detail in my newest book “The Real Truth about Success” . 

The Real Truth about Success is based on Wynn Solutions’ research of top performers (5,000 top-performing people of influence in 21 industries) and shows what the most successful people have in common.

Dealing with difficult people is one of the true litmus tests of being influential. When you boil it down, if you criticize the ideas of the people you are dealing with, they are less likely to use your ideas; and if you make people feel important, then you and your agenda/ideas will be more important to them. We also have to learn the importance of our behavior reflecting on our skill level. Sometimes our behavior betrays our skill. If people do not like your behavior, they will consistently look for reasons not to trust or agree with you. It is possible to be right without making others feel people wrong. People do not choose what’s best; they choose what they are the most comfortable with whether it’s the best or not.

Another often-overlooked area of influence and teamwork is judgment. Top performers acknowledge and act on the concept that everyone knows something they do not. We can all learn from one another. Also, when confronted with bad ideas or information, an attitude of conciliation is the most effective approach. In other words, instead of saying “You’re wrong,” you can take a step back and calmly state, “I disagree with your approach (ideas) but am willing to listen.” This disarms the listener and creates a spirit of teamwork that will enhance the opportunity for productivity. You might also find you are more in agreement than previously thought. Furthermore, you might discover why the person you are speaking with is in fact incorrect, and you can forward the conversation from there. The amazing part of this tactic is that as you listen and gain agreement, you will see that they will start to change their story to match yours as a product of trust gained.

Top performers also understand the truth about trust. Our research shows that trust is built on the foundation of two things: compassion and competence. Data we have collected about effective communication styles clearly demonstrates that an overwhelming number of people responded well when they felt heard or listened to. If you make them feel heard and appreciated, as stated earlier, you and your agenda will be more important to them.

When you rob people of their uniqueness, you make one of the biggest communication mistakes there is. Don’t be dismissive if people say they’ve got a problem. Agree that their problem is valid, and they will be more accepting of your solutions – so accepting that they’re more likely to take accountability for those solutions. Agreement is the foundation of accountability. People are much more likely to be in agreement with those who have agreed with them first!

Another issue is dealing with people you don’t get along with very well. Many people think getting everyone to like each other is the key to success, but our research shows that how well you work with people you don’t get along with will define your greatness. You must be willing to look at your own behavior; if you have personality conflicts on a regular basis, you need to investigate your personality.

Also, top performers know everyone has the same basic agenda: We all want sincerity, value and prestige. Sincerity is simply a matter of making sure your sincerity matches the situation – are you being real? Value is about having several scenarios or solutions for addressing a single problem. People need to know you believe there is more than one way to do things. Prestige is about making people look good to others. Can you make them look smart in front of people they want to impress?

If people know you have all three of these attributes, they will listen intently to everything you say every time you speak. It’s the foundation of influence. But even as they listen, they might encounter the obstacle of believability: Some things might be true but might not be very believable. If people believe something strongly, they just look for reasons to prove the “truth” of what they already believe. So the key to getting people to change their beliefs or see things your way is to first show the similarities before calling attention to any differences.

What the most influential people have in common 

  • They can clearly explain value in about 20 seconds: The longer it takes you to explain value, the more people might believe you don’t have any. The key to having a cohesive team is making sure your ideas are perceived as valuable not just for project success, but valuable to them personally. You have to know what people value before you can influence them. You need to teach them to think, not just give them knowledge. You can do that by asking good questions such as these: Is there a question I did not ask you today that you think that I should have?
    Is there a difference between what you think is important about your job and what others think is important?
  • Their ideas are clear enough to follow: It does not matter how smart you are if no one knows what you’re talking about. Clarity, more than intelligence, is the foundation of success. It’s hard to clarify a team vision if it’s fuzzy. You can’t build a shared vision if everyone sees it differently. Your intelligence could cause you to lack tolerance for those who do not understand things the way you do. You could be labeled a poor communicator and lose your influence. You may need to simplify things a bit to be more effective. If the goal is to get everyone on the same page, you’ll want to make that page easier to read.
  •  They understand the issues between older and younger workers: Older workers will quickly attack what they see as a lack of work ethic in younger team members. They see young people who will quit their job to go on a ski trip! Younger workers see the older people as being inefficient and unable to multitask. When they ask a question of an older worker, they feel they get the history of the answer first. They also believe older workers don’t have an accurate grasp of technology. Younger people need to know that an understanding of how things worked in the past will help older team members embrace the new way. It’s hard to create a future without understanding the past. To lead people effectively, you need to know where they’ve been. Older people need to see that you value their experience and are willing to seek their counsel. Let their experience work for you! Older leaders need to give more consistent praise and use small goals and tight deadlines. Wishing someone were more like you is not an effective tactic. You have to manage people for who they are, not who you want them to be. Also, older leaders should remember that young people are not living in our times – we are living in theirs.
  •  They have fair partnerships: A fair partnership guarantees a team effort (lead by example). You have to be willing to do some of the things you’re asking others to do. You can stand your ground but you must show fairness. • They spend time with people who can position them to succeed: Leverage the relationships that will take you somewhere and minimize the time and effort you invest in those that won’t. Spend more time with productive people and create a culture of excellence.
  • They understand the power of gratitude: You attract better people, effort and respect when people know you are grateful.
  • Change is not the problem; it is resistance to change: Top performers know they must constantly grow and adapt to lead people (or themselves) in a successful direction. Action and adaptability create opportunity. Flexibility is the key to longterm success. Intelligence and skill are not enough to make most organizations view you as effective.
  • Success lives in you; you did not get it from a keynote speech or a book: All humans have the basic ingredients of success. That’s why we are the dominant species on the planet. Never forget your value! You have the ability to be influential if you implement practices that already have a good track record of success.

Getting Great Results When Things Aren’t Really That Great

January 26, 2009

Transition – it’s the word of the times, isn’t it? Right now, as so many organizations go through significant change, the phrase “business as usual” seems like an oxymoron. “Usual? There’s nothing usual about the way I’m doing business in this economy,” you might point out.

Your organization might be going through a merger, expanding or decreasing its employee base, or just operating in a difficult economy. Whatever the transition, the scenario affects your organization’s business processes, sales, and employees. What’s interesting to me is that when times are tough, when there’s an issue with the economy, some businesses do really well and some do not – and these are businesses in the same industry! For many, the economy is like pizza: When it’s good, it’s really good, and even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

Differentiators

What I see making a big difference are attitude and belief. If you’re walking around thinking things are tough, that’s the mind-set you have. What you focus your attention on is what your life looks like. It’s the vibe people get from you. It’s going to be the way you present things. Looking at life through loser-colored glasses can undercut your chances to succeed.

So can you just believe your way to a rosier picture? It’s not really about thinking positive thoughts and then just watching and waiting as good things come your way. That’s a simple way to state the premise of Rhonda Byrne’s successful book The Secret, but I have to say I’m not buying it. In fact, I think The Secret is definably not the secret. It makes perfect sense that any book telling you that belief without action will create success is definitely going to be a best-seller. While I think it’s important to have a belief system, there’s more to success than that.

Most companies – and most people – who succeed when times are tough make sure they get more focused on the needs of the customer in the moment. To succeed, we can’t be stuck in the long-term needs we’ve identified over the years. That’s probably not where the customer’s head is right now. You’ve got to sharpen your focus on what’s really important to customers here and now. If your customer’s treading water (which is nothing more than controlled drowning), throw him a life preserver. You can teach him to swim later. Once you’re past the crisis, there’s always time to get customers back on track with what you know will benefit them long-term.

Act in the moment

Attitude and belief can help you through a tough time, but not by flat-out ignoring difficult circumstances or willing them to magically disappear. You have to first recognize that tough times are temporary and then work quickly to address the needs that arise during difficult conditions. So don’t let the media tell you what your life looks like; remember that good news does not sell newspapers. Have you ever noticed that really depressing news stories are often followed by Prozac commercials?

You can’t just will a sluggish economy to pick up instantly, but you can believe that it will bounce back over time – it always does. With that attitude, it makes sense to take action to meet people’s most pressing needs until things bounce back and you can return to “business as usual.”

Suppose you work for a company that’s going through changes and you’re afraid your division is about to be cut or your job is in jeopardy. That’s when you have to figure out what your boss really, truly needs … besides a vacation. You might have to forget for a moment how brilliant you are and how all your grand ideas can push the company in fabulous new directions. Instead, you need to ask: What’s a big deal right now? You stand to benefit greatly by turning your focus to the company’s immediate needs. If you’re doing work that’s really important to your employer here and now, then when the chopping block comes down your boss will be looking in the other direction. It’s like if you and co-worker are being chased by a bear – you don’t have to outrun the bear, just your co-worker.

Critical and even negative thinking can have great strategic benefit, allowing you to spot trouble on the horizon. But when you insist on looking at life through loser lenses, it prevents you from seeing the effort you need to make.
People and companies that are really successful during times of transition often have to work a little harder, investing more thought, more time, and even more money to do as well as they did before. But even though they expend more resources to perform as well as last year, they’re not losing ground in a company-wide shake-up or industry-wide slump. Odds are, they’re still moving forward. When business picks up again, they will have cemented their usefulness to employers and customers and can resume a better version of “business as usual.”

Resources
Change management speaker
Change managment information, training and keynotes


White Lies Clients Tell You When They Choose Your Competition

May 2, 2008

Have you ever thought that the reason the client gave you for choosing a competitor didn’t sound like the truth? Did it sound like a bald-faced lie? Or was it like the end of a bad date — “It’s not you; it’s me”?

Here are five white lies clients tell you, along with the underlying reality:

The white lie:
Your proposal was good but we need to spread the work around.
The truth: Your representative is brilliant, but we hate him. He is inflexible and makes the staff lose their desire to live.

The white lie: I thought you guys do the best work, but my staff recommended the competitor.
The truth: Two of my technical people said you screwed up the last project and ran over budget, and no one would listen to us.

The white lie: We are in a holding pattern right now and are trying to reorganize the project.
The truth: We don’t have any money — and if we did, we are not sure we would spend it with you.

The white lie: We have decided to review all the proposals again.
The truth: Your proposal was not very clear (neither was your project manager), and we are using your proposal as a last resort, as a worst-case scenario.

The white lie: You will get the next one.
The truth: Someone has a better relationship with us than you do and will have to screw up before you have a shot.

A white lie is polite way of saying “We don’t like doing business with you.” Having a good relationship, giving a clear presentation and making sure your clients feel heard and appreciated are three assets that the most successful have in common.

A lot of very talented people and organizations are overlooked because they think being the best is good enough to win. Unfortunately, people don’t choose what’s best; they choose what they are the most comfortable with, whether it is the best or not


Top Performers: Are You Too Intelligent to be Effective?

April 28, 2008

What do top performers have in common?
They develop simple, easy-to-maintain organizational processes

The more moving parts something has, the more likely it is to break down. This basic premise from mechanical engineering holds a lot of wisdom for people in any field. Sometimes we are victims of our own intelligence; we decide that the complexity our brains are capable of is the level at which we should always operate. That’s why some software applications seem insanely complicated and it takes five hours to put up a singing Christmas tree.

Wynn Solutions studied 5,000 top performers in 323 organizations and 21 industries and found one major trait that the most successful had in common: They create systems that are simple and easily taught and that have consistent repeatability.

Sometimes we make processes complicated so people will think they have more value. (Our research uncovered a group we called “the strugglers” who used this approach.) Unfortunately, complex systems that are difficult to operate and explain make the people who created them look like they are not that good at what they do. That’s why the smartest people are often not the most successful or not in charge of the big projects. Something complicated may be the glorious brain child of the brilliant; it’s just kind of hard to tell if it’s working. I guess the key to creating a successful process is to be smart enough to not outsmart yourself.

There are some easy to use organization tools on the market today. Here is a new organization tool that provides a lot of flexibility that people are talking about. You might want to check it out.

Get organized with GTDTiddlyWiki:

Everyone has to find their own killer personal organizational app, and for me, it’s a single, free HTML document called GTDTiddlyWiki. The self-contained standalone mini-wiki is packed with features but it doesn’t dictate how you work – it provides a canvas on which you can design your own process improvements and workflows.


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